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Saturday, April 23, 2011

Thursday Thirteen: Excerpts From Classified Sections Of City Newspapers

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

Dog for sale: Eats anything and is fond of children.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale

3 year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

337 comments:

1 – 200 of 337   Newer›   Newest»
san francisco fashion photographer said...

round bottom for efficient beating - haha!

Stranger Than Friction said...

Number one and five are my favorites. Hilarious!

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I think that number one is the best! Use our car repair service and you'll never go anywhere else again!

Good stuff keep up the good work!

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I think that number one is the best! Use our car repair service and you'll never go anywhere else again!

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Love it! Might even turn some of these sayings into t-shirts for my site! :)

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Tax Disc said...

Dog for sale: Eats anything and is fond of children. children will give pedigree a run for its money.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious. Good blog man. I love it. Check out this site Free Online Classifieds if you plan on doing a follow up blog to this one. I have seen a lot of funny classified ads on it. It is a site for a local newspaper in Buffalo NY. Take care

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Mad Artist said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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