The following statements about the Bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., bad spelling has been left in.)
- In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
- Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
- Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark because Noah built the ark, which the animals came to in pears.
- Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
- The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.
- Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
- Samson slew the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
- Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.
- The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
- Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to find the ten commendments.
- The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
- The seventh commandment is "Thou shalt not admit adultery".
- Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
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Friday, August 31, 2007
TT - The Bible According to Kids
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20 comments:
*LOL* Leave it to kids to make great mistakes! ;-)
My TT lists 13 activities / sports I did or still do.
I once went on a tour of a victorian prison. The prisoners were kept in solitary confinement all the time. When they went to chapel they were each placed in small separate cubicles. They had conversations by miss reading the services, rewording the hymns and otherwise circumventing the system. One prison officer kept a small notebook in which he wrote some of the more interesting reworkings down and it was on display. I can't remeber any of them but your TT reminded me of the book :-)
You have to admit, the last statement is absolutely true!
Great TT. Sounds like a version of the Bible I could enjoy.
Ed
I loved the seventh commandment the best. Bwahahahah. Have a great TT. :)
From the mouths of babes. I absolutely LOVE the first commandment! I'll be laughing about this one for weeks. Great T13!
Ya know, that last one may seem funny, but it's actually quite true!
LOL....too cute:) Happy TT.
Out of the mouths of babes. :) Great TT!
RFOL... Hilarious! Kids really know how to interpret the Bible lol
Happy TT!
Great list, Jokester! :) Happy TT!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Kids really say the darnedniest things! had a laugh reading your list! Happy T13!
LOL, there were a couple in there I had not heard yet!
Moses died before reaching Canada?
*falls over laughing*
Great list, as usual.
Hey, remember me? Visit my blog, DaBlog Online at http://dbol.wordpress.com. I've moved to WordPress from Blogger a few months ago after my old blog was deleted.
Tierre
Virginia, USA
As a preacher's daughter, I'd already heard most of these. They don't get any less funny no matter how often I hear them. I don't think I'd heard the last one, though, but that's just how kids would think. My youngest asked me once what language the men who built the Tower of Babel use today; she also asked what we were doing when Noah built the ark. Their sense of time is definitely not developed yet!
"The seventh commandment is "Thou shalt not admit adultery"
Good to know politicians get this one right!!
Great laughs.
I linked to your TT at 13 Famous Dogs
LMAO
Gotta love it!
Happy TT!
I've heard that before but it's cute. My TT is my 13 favourite commercials.
Oh and check back on Monday because I'll be featuring your blog.
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